Where does that road go? Chapter 1

Who in their right mind ups and moves to a small town, sight unseen because in their mind it looks like "Pepperland" from Sgt Peppers Lonely Heart Club? I guess this person right here does and did.

From the time I can remember my Moms favorite catch phrase was, "I wonder where that road goes?" The memories are still fresh and vivid of being 6 years old and my Mom being sure she could make it from Bell, CA to Downey, CA during the commercial break of a movie on TV to grab some Sees Candy and make it back in time. She was so close too until the police pulled her over for speeding. The officer couldn't stop laughing when she told him why she was speeding in the first place. She did make it home with her candy and just a warning. Being awakened at 3am to drive to San Diego for breakfast or to Ventura for a burger. My grandmother always kept a toothbrush and a change of underwear in her purse just in case the road took a turn while heading to the grocery store. You just never knew where that road may go.

I became deathly ill on the day I graduated from 3rd grade. Viral hepititis, scarlet fever, dilantin poisioning, kidney and liver failure topped it off. I had a fever of over 106 degrees and the doctors told my Mom to start planning my funeral. My Great Grandmother came to see me and left quite soon telling my Mom that she could not be there to help bury me. I spent months in the hospital and missed a year of school, lost all of my hair and never was able to regain my straight A student status. I guess that was a turn in the road that was almost a dead end, but my Mom never left my side. Once I healed we were on the road again.

So many of us refuse to be like our parents when we are younger. It's funny how as you grow older, and a bit wiser, that you realize you have become like them. I guess I too had to find out where that road went, my road.

Chapter 2 You can take the girl outta L.A., but you can't take the L.A. outta the girl

I was not at all happy to hear that I would start 9th grade in Anaheim, CA. The O.C. In fact I was down right pissed. I was one of the lucky ones. I was born and raised in California, L.A. County to be exact. Summers spent with my cousins that lived over off Pico. My Aunt that lived off of Melrose right off the strip and now we are moving?? No, not a happy camper. I had grew up with the same friends since 2nd grade, I would never make any new friends! I guess it was time to find out where the first off ramp of my road was going to take me.

We moved to Anaheim, CA during my 8th grade year. My Mom still worked in "the ol' neighborhood" so I was lucky and was able to finish out that year of school, not to mention hang out the entire summer there instead of at the new place. I think it was Labor Day weekend. I know it was the weekend before I had to start at the new school. We were at my Mom's friends house in Sylmar, CA and I found one, yes one lady finger firecracker. So I did what any bored kid would do and I lit it. Now for those of you that do not know this little fact about the city streets in Sylmar, they are not level. I know this fact now, had I known it then perhaps I would have done things differently or not at all. So, I take said single firecracker (which will only give me one loud POP) and sit it upright and light the fuse. Doing so made it tip over and roll towards me. I turn to run, like it would have caused injury if I had of just stood there right? And when I take a step to run, my left foot decided to stay put. The sound of my left ankle braking was much louder than the little pop that firecracker made. Great, new school in a new city with people I do not know and I have a broken ankle. The doctors said it was too swollen to put a cast on it and that was all I needed to hear. I started my 9th grade year with a broken ankle that I walked on cause I wasn't going to look like a dork on the first day of school. I look back and realize we all looked like dorks on the first day of school.

I started out in college prep classes when I hit high school the following year. Hung out with the "good kids" and studied every night. That lasted all of the first semester. I found the kids that smoked and the drama class was more fun to hang out with than the "good kids". I never got into drugs but could toss 'em back on the weekends. I would spend my weekends on The Strip in Hollywood and going to The Roxy, The Trubador, Gazzari's and The Wiskey. I was chased out of a club by Niki Sixx for screaming the Crue sucked one evening only to meet Randy Rhodes the next and had no idea who he was and why he would not leave me alone. Damn, he liked to talk a lot. So when I went to my school counselor and told him I did not want college prep classes and felt I would be better educated if I was changed to remedial classes and he did it. Well, screw the man!!! He didn't catch this major error in my life so let it ride! Lets see what road this will take me down.

A brand new me!

Before Facebook finished sucking all of the life out of me, I remembered I had blogger. I will be transfering some of my recent chapters that my daughter likes to call my manifestos. Hopefully those that I truly care about and that inspire me to be better and do better will follow my rants and writings on this venue. Much more to follow in the upcoming days, but for now I gotta head back to FB and start hitting delete!

Scrapping Addict

Well, since this consumes my life I guess I should post a little more about my addiction and get some pictures of completed pages on here. I am a scrapaholic. I do so love buying every little thing, bling, embelishments and paper!!Not that I ever use it. I guess I am more of a scrap-horder. LOL

I like to blame the fact that I no longer take the time to scrap is because I had to sell my Scrapbox. Yes, that was an impulse buy at the last expo I went to in California. It broke my heart when I had to part with it, at half of what I paid for it. But I am sure the women that got it as an anniversary gift from her husband is one happy woman.

I now have a small cabinet off the dining room to hold everything that was in there. I did seem to spend more time organizing things when I had it, but after everything is said and done. I like my little closet that I use now.

Since moving from California to Wisconsin I have started making projects and albums for some of my husbands friends from facebook. We don't know anyone out here (almost here a year) So I was so happy when Paper Secrets did this challenge.

I look forward to meeting and connecting with those that share my addiction. I hope that you guys help motivate me to get some pages done and posted on here!!

Happy Scrapping!

There has to be more....right?

There has to be more. There has to be more than just going to work everyday, coming home, going to bed and waking up to do it all over again. I mean I know there is. Life is what you make it. I intend on making it something spectacular!!! I moved out here under the pretense that a friendship would rekindle. Pick up where we left off. I knew time changes everything and everyone, but did not realize to what extent. I feel for myself, I grew up a bit, but still basically the same person I have always been. Edges are not as rough as they were in the past. Some parts have become jaded and tough. I choose my battles better and know which hill is worth dying on for something I truly believe in or about. But other than that I am still just me. Or am I wrong in that assumption?
The friendship is strained at best. One should never have to search for something to say. Nor should you ever have to reply with such caution due to the fact you never know how someone will twist or turn its every meaning. Paranoia and deciept is never good bedfellows nor is it a trait I wish to have in "a friend'. If you say one thing, then turn around and do the opposite, or even worse talk shit and crap behind EVERYONES back, why would you fight to continue a relationship? You wouldn't you would turn and run for the hills baby!! Isn't that the reason I left home in the dust and moved so far away? To get away from those like that?
Well, I found out that it is all around me. One must make a choice in every aspect of their lives. I choose not to become a person like that. I will not become doubtful and untrusting. Thinking that everyone is out to get me and has something up their sleeve. Nor will I shut myself off from life itself by finding any excuse not to go out and live, love and laugh. If I choose to discover more of not only myself but of this big world of ours with not only my husband and family, then I will do it with someone that has respect and integrity. My happiness is worth more than that.
Ok, so this isn't really a blog, its more of a piss, whine, moan session. But sometimes you gotta let the ugly out before you can let the beauty and love consume you.

Cobwebs in my head

Sorting out thoughts and feelings these days. Got tired of sorting through boxes and drawers. Not real sure if I am where I wanna be in life. Where I need to be. Do you ever really know "where you belong". Am I searching for a nirvana that doesn't exist? Do you know when you find it. Maybe its the moon throwing me for a loop these days. But I have such a restless soul burning inside of me. Me the one that loves stability and consistancy.

Not much of a blog today. Just clearing out some of the cobwebs in my head. Knocking the dust off the cerebellum. Getting ready to lay it out on the line. Fuck therapy...I have blogger right?

Yes Mommy Dearest...More Wire Hangers!!

Even though I have pneumonia, (welcome to Wisconsin in the winter Pam) I was determined to make it to storage for yet another tirp o'stuff. Hangers. Thats all I wanted. Thats all I craved. Plastic, wire or wood, it just didn't matter. So my wonderful husband who could barely walk today after yesterdays trip to storage humored me and off we went. Now the doctor told me I am not to go outside, period. He was going to admit me to the hospital on Weds. But luckily he had a change of heart. So being a nurse, I knew what was best for me and today it was hangers!!

As I have said before, I never gave much thought to the little things in life. A door. That one still makes me giggle, until today. Todays epiphany was hangers. When you go to a hotel for a relaxing weekend. Are you the person that puts away the stuff in the drawers and hangs up your clothes, or do you just leave it in the suitecase and just call it a day? I have been known to do both. On the trip out here, never put away anything it was like camping. Living out of the trunk of the car basically. We didn't know we did not have a place to go to until Oklahoma, and I packed away most of all of our clothes. Today we found the box of hangers. I dumped them out on the bed, giggling as I was untanglling the huge pile. Any other time I would have been cussing over it. Not today. Oh the colors!! Yellow, white, blue, black, mauve. Wire hangers, wood hangers, plastic hangers. Hangers from department stores, from the dry cleaners...Hangers! Hangers! Hangers!!! Joan Crawford had nothing on me.

Dumping clothes from boxes, totes, bags and luggage. Prancing back and forth, from the bed to the closet, hanging everything up. Old clothes, new clothes, things I haven't worn and even hung up a few nightgowns. It was a hanging frenzy. My life was complete today. Even hacking up a lung, I was in hanger nirvana. Two hours later, I had to lay down and take a nap. I really need to pace myself next time.

I spoke to Rick about it. At first I was laughing over my behavior. Who gets all worked up over a damn hanger. Oh, thats right, the person that was giddy over a door. A wave of sadness started to flow over me. Was life so out of control and going down hill that fast that I now appreciate hangers? Imagine loosing over half of what you have. Everything that is you and what you know is packed away like the emotions you are feeling over all of this. How many mornings have I (and others) lumbered over to the closet, fingered through the clothes hanging there, dreading the thought of going to work. "What to wear today...I have nothing, that makes me look fat, oh thats right I am fat, gotta go to the fat side of the closet. Shoes...burried at the bottom, damn...I am going to be late." Its a daily activity that is done without thought or reason. It just is. Nothing more.

I look forward to waking up in the mornings. Thankful that I have a job, I have clothes and a few pairs of shoes. I have a home with a bedroom door and a closet. Think about it for a moment. Don't just assume it will always be there, you just never know.

Wait until I find the box with towels.....